Pub Grub

I thoroughly enjoy eating at Irish/British/Scottish pubs - so much so that I am willing to add a superfluous adverb to my sentence. While the typical "pub grub" menu is very limited, I find it increasingly difficult to decide on a meal. Fish and chips are always delicious - you can't ever go wrong with fish and chips. But the same is true for sheperd's pie. Bangers and mash are also outstanding. Chicken pot pies are fantastic as well, even with all the vegetables.

As such, I have an incredibly difficult time deciding what to order. Couple this with the rarity of eating at a pub and I have a near brain meltdown with respect to choosing a meal. Life would be much easier if Kassie would just agree to eat at the Irish pub everytime we went out to eat.

Shennanigans

I just watched a MasterCard commercial that included various commercial mascots. After watching the commercial, I declared shennanigans in my head. Shennanigans I thought. The commercial made no sense. Why would the Gordon's Firsherman eat dinner with the Star-Kist Tuna? I am pretty sure these two mascots are enemies in real life. If anything, the commercial should have revolved around the Gordon's Fisherman attempting to catch the Star-Kist Tuna with predictably hilarious results.

Opium

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan in stately pleasure palace doth decree...wait, not that kind of opium...

Today was sort of surreal. I went to law school, hypothectically, to get out of the investments game. Instead, I find myself in a meeting with a couple of hedge fund managers discussing a deal where they invest a boatload of money into a condominium project at the beach.

It reminded me of what bothered me in my previous career - that is "Other People's Money", or OPM. Life is so much simpler when you are dealing in OPM. It is addictive like the drug. Want to buy a BBB-rated tranche within a CDO, that's great, so long as you are playing with OPM. How about a business loan for a children's clothing store so that your wife has something to dabble in during her free time. It's fine, so long as it is funded with OPM.

Deja vu passed and I returned to reality, myself hooked on OPM. How can a beach condo deal look bad when it is only OPM?

Old Timey Names

In searching for a name for a still-to-be-born child, I was desperately seeking an appropriate old-timey name. What is wrong with a good, solid name like Mortimer? It has passed the test of centuries and been shown to be of the highest caliber. Much like the name Archibald. When you are tired of saying Archibald, you could say Archie. What a fine name/nickname.

According to crimezzz.com, only one serial murderer has been named Archbald (and that was a middle name). It would seem to me that people named Archibald are more likely to be law-abiding and therefore better people.

Suits - Why you Should Wear Them

I have failed to understand the logic of casual Friday. In fact, I do not understand why men think that not wearing a suit to the office is somehow more comfortable than wearing a suit.

Not only are suits incredibly comfortable, but they project an image of importance. If more people wore suits, I am confident that crime would drop by a minimum of 9.2%. It has been scientifically proven that casual Fridays are the leading cause of teenage pregnancy.

More suits, fewer teenage mothers and less crime. That is why you should wear a suit.

The Legend of Rhinelander Bock, Pt. 1 (a story in parts)

Setting: Eastern Iowa, probably Coralville.

Characters: assorted underage college students.

Dilemma: How to throw an Awesome hotel party on the cheap.

To be continued...

John's First Blog Post

Since this is a blog dedicated first and foremost to Awesomeness (at least for the time being), the first post will relate to Awesomeness in the form of blogging. You will notice a few things regarding this Blog.

First, I am a firm believer in justifying parahraphs. Whenever I see a document that does not have justified paragraphs, I assume that it was written by a 9th grader. The failure to justify paragraphs is a violation of Awesomeness. Just because it is a Blog does not mean it has to look sloppy.

You will also begin to notice and hopefully embrace my love of the non sequitor (the failure to italicize non-English words is also a violation of Awesomeness). Accordingly, you will get the occassional entry regarding topics such as why I like to count the number of cars on a passing train.

As I conclude this entry, with justified paragraphs that create the impression of orderliness, just remember that somewhere in the world, at this very moment, someone has passed out, and his/her friends have taken this opportunity to draw inappropriate pictures on that person with permanent marker (if I knew how to post images to my blog, I would have totally posted a picture of that at the end of this post - unfortunately, Kassie is asleep now, so pictures will have to wait for another day).